at the same table

Read Matthew 26:20-30

At the same table

Jesus sits and dines

Takes bread and wine

With one(s)

He knows,

betray(s) him.

Dismayed,

And yet

He stays

And prays

lets the road ahead,

like this dinner with broken bread,

Unfold.

Read Matthew 26:47-50

Heartbroken,

Jesus receives

The one who deceives;

Judas offers a kiss,

becomes one who will miss

the Christic gift of Heaven before him.

How do we include those who have betrayed us or our community?

What is the line between living in forgiveness and having healthy boundaries?

Do not hear me say

We need to sit (near) and stay (with)

the one who betrays us,

As Jesus does with Judas.

When it comes to us

I do not possess a quick or simple answer

For how to include

And not exclude

One no longer trustworthy to honor your pearls.

I can only invite us

To reflect on our own

Beautiful, broken, resilient, wounded, healing

Humanity.

To reflect on our own

To put down that stone

To wait just a minute

Try to attune to the frequency of God with us.

Let it transform us

Inform us

Adorn us

With a view of the humanity within us.

From there

I hear Jesus say

my needs are worth protecting

Even as another is

never worth rejecting.

To realize that s/he

Betrays also their own

Worthwhile & wounded humanity.

May I remember

the injuries we cause

Stem from woundedness

Not yet faced

with God’s abundant, everflowing grace.

I have healing yet to chase

Work to embrace

Our ever-worthwhile selves.

May I invite myself to

hold my wounds trustworthily

honor my boundaries without apology,

Acknowledge my humanity and

need for healthy sanity.

And, to acknowledge

The same broken and beautiful,

Flawed and fragile

Humanity of the one who betrays me.

For we are all walking wounded.

May our forgiveness come

With embrace of our limits

May we release those who injure us

Back into their humanity

To God’s trusted hand

Even if it means

We need to be

As far away as possible

At opposite ends of the kin-dom table.

Far enough away

To not get hit

I do not have to sit

In the same area

Or zip code

Or state

As the one who can no longer be trusted

With my dear and precious life.

Maybe being released

Into the loving spaces we need

Means those are forever separate

community

spaces

that protect our individual healing.

For God still holds the story

(and I no longer have to)

of someone with whom

I can no longer walk and talk and engage.

While I take all my needed healthy space

I can lean into grace

trust in our God

who gives all their place

at the abundant and lengthy table.

That is

Big enough

For both of us

All of us

Each of us

For every

Single

One

Of us

To be safely and securely separate

And yet still be

At the same

spacious

gracious

heavenly

holy

Table.

And, what of love?

After necessity of boundaries

What of the seasons

That follow

That hold hope for reconciliation with our whole selves?

What could be lost

in the distance of far-away table spaces

What of integration

of my whole self

that loved

That walked with

That knew and was known by that Judas?

When does safety become running away

From what may be turned and faced

An old forgotten part of me

That loved and knew,

Re-embraced?

What of the Jesus who receives that painful kiss?

What of his love that persists

And risks?

At the same table

We sit and we pray

And hold hope

That the work of God

Never gives up

On moving us towards our greatest, deepest, courageous, healthy

Wholeness.

20 That evening he took his place at the table with the twelve disciples. 21 As they were eating he said, “I assure you that one of you will betray me.”

...

25 Now Judas, who would betray him, replied, “It’s not me, is it, Rabbi?”

Jesus answered, “You said it.”

26 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, “Take and eat. This is my body.” 27 He took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from this, all of you. 28 This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many so that their sins may be forgiven.

…

30 Then, after singing songs of praise, they went to the Mount of Olives. (Matthew 26:20-30)

47 While Jesus was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, came. With him was a large crowd carrying swords and clubs. They had been sent by the chief priests and elders of the people. His betrayer had given them a sign: “Arrest the man I kiss.” Just then he came to Jesus and said, “Hello, Rabbi.” Then he kissed him.

But Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you came to do.” Then they came and grabbed Jesus and arrested him. (Matthew 26:47-50)