anniversarites

today

arrives

unbidden

unannounced

you

unsuspecting…

and undone.

for the anniversaries

those rites of passage

perhaps once celebrated, and now, no longer

perhaps never celebrated, never a day that held any significance

until something came along

affected loss

now the day reminds

of the moment the world shifted

cracked

crumbled

life as it was known

collapsed

scaffolding that once seemed such a solid structure

no more

the day you left home

the day they did

the last time you saw them

the day it all changed in an instant

the day you thought she’d wake up

and then didn’t.

the day you got the call

the day you lost it all.

the day you started walking and never turned back

the day you found out the news

the day the tests came back

the diagnosis that now identifies 

and introduces you

bizarre rite of passage

that chose you 

now claims you

seems to name you

the calendar that changed you

for all that this day once held

or all it now holds

though few suspect

this anniversarite carries such weight

i see you

carrying

wishing not to carry

what no longer walks with you

i trust

dear one,

how time,

steps

and stops

and starts

slowly lighten the load

from ashes grow new soil

surrendering, dear one

to the life that flows from your hands

for nothing flows away

without having created space 

for more life to begin 

its ascent

rise

dear one

greet this day

you have the power to change it

as much 

if not more

than it has changed you.